Like many people going through difficult times, I was looking for a healthy outlet in 2018/19. I was going through some difficult times in my life and was depressed. After speaking with a therapist, I was encouraged to find a positive way to express all the emotions I was feeling.
I’ve always been a bookworm and an avid reader. When I was at school, I always had a book in my hands.m I would get so engrossed in a story that I would forget about the real world. Even as a teenager, this feeling was therapeutic for me.
I devoured everything I could get my hands on and fell in love with romance novels. I was drawn to the fantasy of the “perfect” story. It made my mind wander and think about my own story, or how I could change the novel I was reading to make it “better” in my opinion.
At that point, the idea of actually writing a book was just a vague dream. I had no idea where to find an editor, and most importantly, I didn’t think anyone would want to read my writing.
I discovered a whole online community for publishing. I collected tips and tricks, learned the basics, and researched. God, how did I find out?
I published my first novel in August 2019. To be honest, it wasn’t the best. It was short, had a lot of plot holes, and was nowhere near detailed enough, but people still read it. They read it and loved it. That alone made me want to continue.
My writing gradually changed from sweet stories to darker ones. They featured fetishes and testing boundaries. I wrote about mafia bosses and their formidable allies. Stories that explored elements that people don’t want to say out loud for fear of criticism.
I took a step back but made sure I remained relevant after returning to the writing world.
Taking a break hurt. It made me feel something deep inside that I can’t even explain. The joy I felt when people came up to me and raved that they’d never read a story that represented their tastes or body type was gone. It killed me. But then I had another idea: I didn’t have to stop spreading my word and being accepted, I just had to do it differently. And I was right.” With more research, a camera, and a dream in hand, I started taking photos of myself and exploring different online options for casual meetings.
I found people who liked the way I looked. People who just enjoyed talking to me without being judged. I learned a lot in my few months in the industry and I want to continue expanding my knowledge.
Casual meetings are highly stigmatized. It will be frowned upon and frowned upon but I have never met such understanding and open-hearted people.
To all sellers and even buyers of ATW: Don’t let anyone take away your sparkle.
